Beyond the Sanctuary: How Churches Are Building Comprehensive Safety Networks for Domestic Violence Survivors

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Fraser Venter was serving as a pastor when he first understood the deep impact of domestic violence on faith communities. His own mother’s story of surviving severe childhood abuse – including her being locked in a closet for failing to memorize Scripture – helped him recognize how abuse can be perpetuated through misused spiritual authority. When Judi Noble, who led a domestic violence ministry, walked through his church doors and shared her story, Venter found the courage to share his family’s experience from the pulpit.

“That moment, that day in church, was like you could see light bulbs going off for people across the congregation,” Venter recalls. “There was this movement in our space that only the Holy Spirit could do. Because I was willing to be courageous in sharing the vulnerability of my story, it gave people the freedom to share their story.”

The Reality We Must Face

The statistics are stark and demand our attention, but more importantly, they demand we ask “why?” Christian women experience domestic violence at roughly the same rates as those outside the church, yet they remain in abusive situations an average of 3.5 years longer than their secular counterparts (Wright). This extended exposure to danger stems from complex factors deeply embedded in church culture:

First, there’s often an inherent bias toward believing known church members, particularly those in leadership positions or who present themselves well in the congregation. When an abuser is active in church life, serves in ministry, or maintains a respected position in the community, victims often face skepticism when they come forward. This dynamic of disbelief can be devastating – silencing victims and emboldening abusers.

Laura Tortora, Assistant Executive Director of Eagles Wings, experienced this firsthand. Growing up as one of six girls in a church-going family where her father served as an elder, she endured severe abuse that went unaddressed by church leadership. “For a while, we thought it was normal until we realized it was not,” Tortora shares. When her older sister reached out to the pastor’s wife during a crisis, she was told, “Oh honey, you shouldn’t be telling me this kind of stuff because I have to report it.”

This resistance to believing victims often stems from:

• Misapplication of biblical teachings about marriage and divorce
• Discomfort with confronting evil within the church family
• Fear of false accusations or divided congregations
• Lack of understanding of domestic violence dynamics
• Tendency to prioritize preserving marriages over safety
• Unwillingness to acknowledge that Christians can be abusers

“This isn’t just an issue of the church not looking at child abuse or failing to report child abuse,” Tortora explains. “It really was the people that God put in our path to actually stand up and stand in the gap of sin and ugliness and all of the fallout of that, just not leaning into the uncomfortable and the hard.”

The consequence of this failure to believe and support victims extends far beyond individual cases. It creates a culture of silence where abuse victims feel trapped – not only by their abusers but by the very community that should offer them sanctuary. Women stay longer because they face not just the loss of their marriage but the potential loss of their church family, spiritual community, and even their faith identity.

Moving Beyond Church Walls

The Free Methodist Church is working to transform this reality by creating comprehensive safety networks that extend into every aspect of survivors’ lives. As Venter explains, this approach recognizes that safety can’t be confined to Sunday mornings:

“If you need someone to drive with you to take your kids to school? That’s what we do. If you need someone to go to work with you, that’s what we do. If you need someone to sit with you while you talk to your boss, who may not understand that this could be a problem in your work environment, then that’s what we do. That’s what the body of Christ is supposed to do.”

This holistic support system includes:

• Workplace advocacy and protection: Training staff to assist survivors in communicating with employers and maintaining safety at work
• Transportation assistance: Organizing volunteers to accompany survivors during high-risk periods
• Court support: Providing companions for legal proceedings and documentation
• Daily life assistance: Coordinating help with shopping, errands, and childcare
• Security planning: Developing comprehensive safety protocols for all environments
• Safe Shelters: Both short-term and long-term safe homes are vital for DV victims and families.
• Counseling and Coaching: Safe places to share the story and be equipped for long-term thriving.

The Reality We Must Face

The statistics are stark and demand our attention. According to research cited by Baptist Churches of New England, Christian women experience domestic violence at roughly the same rates as those outside the church. However, they tend to remain in abusive situations an average of 3.5 years longer than their secular counterparts (Wright). This extended exposure to danger often stems from theological misunderstandings and a lack of support from faith communities.

In addition, a question that must be addressed is “the why” or “the what” blocking the church from hearing this truth. Also, why is leadership so resistant to believing a victim when they come forward, especially if they know the one that’s abusing them? The most important part of this issue is that they are believed. This may be a secondary trauma to the initial violence that must be addressed before we can go forward.

“The church is so powerful when they actually do walk in that space of ‘I believe you,’ and they walk it out well,” Tortora emphasizes. “We’re not advocating for divorce over here; we’re advocating for safety. Can we accept that? Can we come at it from that position that maybe we stand on different sides of the fence regarding divorce, but can we all agree that we’re for safety?”

Taking Action

For churches ready to develop comprehensive safety networks:

1) Start with Leadership Commitment

• Provide comprehensive staff training on domestic violence dynamics
• Develop clear response protocols prioritizing survivor safety
• Build relationships with local domestic violence agencies
• Create safe spaces for survivors to disclose abuse

2) Build Your Response Team

• Identify and train qualified volunteers
• Eagles Wings Training and Curriculum: Love Does No Harm
• Establish strict confidentiality protocols
• Create coordination systems for practical support
• Partner with professional domestic violence services

3) Extend Your Impact

• Develop workplace advocacy programs
• Create transportation volunteer networks
• Establish emergency response systems
• Build partnerships with local agencies and services

A Call to Action

Venter reminds us, “The church’s witness is greater to the community when we love well, all the way through, even in the midst of pain.” This commitment to “loving all the way through” means creating tangible support systems that demonstrate Christ’s love in practical ways.

If you or someone you know needs help:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
• Eagles Wings: (909) 529-3373 or visit https://eagleswingsglobal.org/

Works Cited

• Wright, Elissa. “Domestic abuse: 4 things pastors and churches need to know.” Baptist Churches of New England, Aug. 2024.
• DeRobertis, Jacqueline. “Does domestic violence actually increase over the holidays? It’s complicated, advocates say.” The Advocate, 2024.
• Mollering, Rev. Miriam. “Domestic Violence: The Response of the Church.” The Rave Project, 2024.
• St. John, Tim. “Recognizing Domestic Violence in the Church.” SOLA Network, 5 Nov. 2023.
• Forrest, Joy. “The Church and Domestic Violence: A Call to Action.” Called To Peace Ministries, 2024.
• “Working Together to Break the Cycle of Domestic Violence.” Sheltering Wings, 2024.